Alan's blog........

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paul...m
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by paul...m » Fri May 22, 2020 2:59 pm

So I am insane and you admit to being a maniac I shall say no more .(well til next time )

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sun May 24, 2020 11:49 am

The insanity is a sign of the times Jane thinks.

Jane’s number one VERY intelligent daughter has offered to make Jane a face mask :D :D . This is all very well and helpful but Jane’s reader is probably very aware of number one daughter’s determination to make everything possible in rainbow colours with sparkles and sequins :shock: :shock: . Jane thinks she may end up looking like some kind of ex-cabaret artist who has escaped from the local asylum :shock: .

Add this to Jane’s masking-taped glasses and Jane thinks she will probably get arrested :lol: . Jane has requested that number one daughter adds a smile to the mask :D :D . Jane knows she is asking for trouble. Jane taught number one daughter her sense of humour and Jane has a feeling this will come back to bite her :shock: :lol: :lol: . But hey if we can't laugh at ourselves then it will be a darker world indeed.

Although if people laugh at Jane when she’s just finished a hard day at work and had to queue for essential supplies then they may wish they hadn’t :lol: :lol: .

Jane has also realised that she has somehow morphed into the only cook in the house, despite Alan (whose blog this is) now managing without his zimmers :shock: . How did this happen? Jane will have to have serious words if Alan thinks this situation will continue into next week when Jane is back at work :shock: . Although in Jane’s opinion the quality of the meals has improved, mainly because Jane is only cooking things she likes :lol: :lol: .

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sat May 30, 2020 12:18 pm

So having survived death by email at work this week Jane is very pleased with herself :D .

Until Alan (whose blog this is) announced that he is now going to take over the shopping again :shock: . Now Jane’s reader may think Jane has double standards here (and they are absolutely right :oops: ). BUT, Jane has got used to the hurly-burly fun of the weekly shop: the queueing for hours; the avoidance of people; the missing items; the one-way systems! :shock: Most importantly it is Jane’s choice of food whilst spending Alan’s money :D .

Luckily for Jane, Alan tested his ability to depress the clutch on Betty but couldn’t manage it, which is odd because he certainly has the ability to depress Jane :shock: . So off Jane went, 2 hours after her preferred time had the decision been hers, only to find the queue from hell :evil: .

The best bit of Jane’s morning trip however, was that on her way home from the supermarket she took a detour into the local car jet wash facility :D . Betty has never been washed by Jane (Matilda was NEVER washed by Jane in 4 years :oops: ) so this was a first.

Jane has never had so much fun for months! There was a poley thing that gushed soapy water out at amazing speeds and another poley thing that gushed waxy water out at amazing speeds :D . And Jane had the opportunity to examine Betty at close quarters without looking like some kind of car pervert :D .

It was such FUN :D :D :D .

Added to this is now another week of Jane’s choice of food which is better than Alan’s in Jane’s opinion.

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sun May 31, 2020 11:20 am

Yesterday Jane had a terrible day :shock: :shock: . She was forced to sit in the garden ALL DAY :shock: :shock: .

And it looks like Jane may have to do the same today as well :shock: :shock: . It’s horrendous! Not a pot washed nor a baby’s bonnet knitted for two whole days :shock: .

Luckily as Jane is outside she can’t see the state of the house inside and if she doesn’t wear her glasses (which she can’t anyway because they are stuck together with masking tape) she can’t see the bits on the floor :D :D .

Jane does though have a little habit of advising Alan (whose blog this is) about work that needs doing:

Jane: “Those inside windows need a wash”

Alan: “They do”.

Obviously it is now Alan’s job to clean them because Jane has mentioned it and Alan agreed, thereby taking responsibility :D .

This seems to work quite well especially if Alan negates his responsibility and doesn’t do the windows. Jane can then say “I thought you were going to do the windows!” which underlines his ownership of the task :D

Jane has it all worked out :D . But obviously she has to do something when she is forced to sit in the garden all day :D .

paul...m
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by paul...m » Sun May 31, 2020 1:29 pm

Why is Jane sitting in the garden is there no Judge Judy or whatever to watch or is Jane super posh and has a tv in the garden .I am assuming Jane will do upstairs while Alan holds the ladder seeing as he has a poorly hip . ( Now Alan can take his revenge while she is up ladder )

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sat Jun 06, 2020 12:03 pm

When the sun is out even Judge Judy takes a back seat in Jane’s life. Jane has never mentioned this to Judy in case she takes offence obviously :D .

And Jane must explain to Paul that it is the inside windows that need cleaning. Jane has a man to do her outside windows, which Jane feels Paul will be pleased to hear.

Alan (whose blog this is) has once again stepped back from his shopping duties :evil:. This is simply not on! Jane has shopped for weeks now and very boring it is too. Jane likes clothes shopping and shoe shopping but food shopping is just bler! And if you go clothes shopping at least the items last a while. Food shopping only lasts a week and then you have to do it again.

The government needs to step in and do something about this ridiculous state of affairs. Of course Jane could food shop on-line but understands that at the moment she may starve to death before it gets delivered :shock: .

Jane has also bought some items for mad Ma: nasal spray, double cream and ham :shock: . Jane wonders what sort of diet mad Ma is on, but it doesn’t sound very healthy or tasty to be honest :shock: .

Jane wore the face mask VERY intelligent daughter made for her today whilst shopping. It has a big smile sewn onto it :D . Just like that one! Some people smiled at Jane’s mask and some people looked at her as if she were insane.

They are mistaking Jane for someone who gives a s*** :lol: :lol: .

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sun Jun 07, 2020 11:50 am

Oh the the excitement of it all! Jane and Alan (whose blog this is) have been to buy some new tropical fish following the sad demise of some of the more elderly members of the tank :shock: . And THEN Jane and Alan went to Screwfix (which is not, as Jane originally thought, a dating facility :shock: :lol: :lol: ).

Jane has bought some taps :D :D . It’s just wild chez Dalgleish :shock: . Jane needed a new kitchen tap and two taps for her downstairs, space themed toilet. Jane ordered online and tried click and collect. Jane had clicked so decided to try the collect part of the process, only to be told on arrival that the IT was down and she couldn’t have the taps :roll: :roll: .

Could not some member of staff have walked into the warehouse and found the bloody taps? :evil: Does it really need a computer to find a tap? Does it need a computer to hand a tap over to a customer?

Jane thinks it should be called Click and Don’t collect :shock: :roll: :roll: . Although Jane can see a few problems with this, and feels customers may not be willing to try it out.

Once Jane gets the taps she will need to find a plumber. Jane knows that fixing taps should be an easy DIY process but Jane doesn’t trust Alan with anything like that. Alan has no appreciable practical skills regarding DIY at all. Whenever Jane has got Alan involved in anything remotely DIY Jane has always regretted it.

It usually ends up costing more to repair the destruction Alan has caused than paying somebody to do the job in the first place. :shock: :shock:

paul...m
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by paul...m » Mon Jun 08, 2020 6:55 pm

I went to B&Q last week only needed an extension lead but even for one item you need a trolley thought it was a bit over the top but it works really well for social distancing

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maz
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by maz » Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:22 am

I remember right before lockdown I went for a final M&S food shop. They had tried getting the public to socially distance in the hope they could put off lockdown, but that had failed. I was trying to social distance, but it seemed nobody else was. I had a basket (pretty full) and went in the self checkout lane. I stayed as close to 2 m behind the one in front as I could, but the ones behind me closed in to almost touching me. So wham, basket went behind me. Only about 1 m, but I made my point. I could be in charge of in front of me, but not behind. A trolley would be better for sure.
Marilyn

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Saxie
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Saxie » Tue Jun 09, 2020 7:31 pm

Thank goodness here in NZ we are finally out of lockdown. It has been complete overkill here as we haven’t had the virus apart from a few overseas people who brought it in and were easily tracked. A few very old people who were dying of other things died from it but the government used that as a weapon to MALWARE fear into everyone and are destroying the economy in the process. They will keep our borders closed forever as far as we can tell while our prime minister congratulates herself on how wonderful she is and constantly tells us how the rest of the world thinks she is great. No I am not a fan, in case you wondered. She is determined to keep us all locked away and under the nanny state. Sorry for the rant but I am totally over it.

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MikeyB
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by MikeyB » Wed Jun 10, 2020 7:00 pm

Well, Saxie, you may not be a fan of your prime minister but the rest of the world is slack-jawed about the efficacy of her actions, and you are now free of lockdown. Shows how it should be done to the goons in our country. Nanny state? Just be grateful. Pain in the arse, but necessary.

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Saxie
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Saxie » Thu Jun 11, 2020 3:32 am

Do bear in mind we are a tiny country with a very small population at the bottom of the world. And an island with easy to close borders. Too far for anyone to swim and horrendous seas so we don’t get boat people.
There is no way we would ever have been a case like Italy, despite the scare tactics to subdue us, but a substantial number of the population are now too scared to leave their homes and resume normal life. We have more chance of being killed on the road than catching cornovirus and yet they don’t shut down the roads all around the country to protect us.
Most of us are heartily sick and tired of being treated as toddlers as that is not the NZ way. Hopefully the majority will see sense at the next election and toss her out.

paul...m
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by paul...m » Thu Jun 11, 2020 6:11 am

Chuck her our way we locked down in my opinion to late and borders should have been closed now country must be bankrupt too many dead and with protesters packed in like sardines on their marches and MPs and their advisors doing as they want against the rules can see us heading for another lockdown but no they are opening up the shops too soon .I was so fed up I wrote to our MP step son also wrote to his MP in next county and got an identical reply not answering the questions .

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Saxie
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Saxie » Thu Jun 11, 2020 7:12 am

Borders can be shut but then you have to quarantine everyone coming in forever. Very hard to do with a huge population and a need for the hotels etc to accomodate them all. Human nature means that some in quarantine get frustrated and push the boundaries, risking an outbreak. We have people at different stages of isolation mixing with each other as they are all locked down in a hotel together. The only hope is that like the Spanish flu, the virus mutates and becomes a lesser risk.

At least in a small population it is relatively easy to track and trace people and isolate clusters.

The dictator (prime minister) wants us all to have an app on our phone so the government can tell where we are at all times. So far this is not proving popular!

It is intriguing that the response to the virus is similar to how it was handled in medieval times. Look up the sweating sickness for a good read!

So many are thinking that an inoculation will be developed but you only have to look at Aids to see it is not likely to happen any time soon. Not to mention the anti-vaccers - I assume you have your share of nutters over there or are they all here in Godzone?

paul...m
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by paul...m » Thu Jun 11, 2020 7:41 pm

Don't need an app on phone Google knows where you are all the time the government just want to make out they are doing it by the book. As for nutters think we are all on here

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