Not me this time.

Chat about anything you like... Fed up with the state of the world today? Tell us!
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maz
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Not me this time.

Post by maz » Tue Jan 21, 2020 9:00 am

My husband John had an angiogram yesterday and the news wasn't what we were expecting. He will likely have to have a heart bypass. The left side is blocked and 2 plus a branch( or something like that) are not good on the right side. Maybe those can be have a stent put in, we don't know. He has to have a couple more tests, heart echo and an MRI then chat with his cardiologist and referred to Leeds. John never even thought about a bypass, just that the worst case would be a couple of stents maybe and all would be good. He hadn't had a heart attack, no evidence, and only had symptoms just before Christmas, though he said a year ago he had some pressure in his chest on walking but passed that off as it wasn't pain. His diet has been basically good since his dad died from a heart attack at 59, low fat, not much red meat etc. Never smoked and doesn't drink alcohol. His cholesterol wasn't very high when tested a few years ago, but due to his family history he was put on statins anyway, and his BP began to raise a couple of years ago.

He is doing okay really, just has to be got through.
Marilyn

heleng
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by heleng » Tue Jan 21, 2020 8:53 pm

I read these posts and you think just how many times we have to dig deep to face the next challenge. I do think though, if these things have to be done, better sooner or later , as we only get older . Wishing you both good luck and fingers crossed its all behind you

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Anne Dawson
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by Anne Dawson » Tue Jan 21, 2020 11:32 pm

I’m so sorry to hear about John, Marilyn.
Hope the coming tests and consultations go well.
I know from friends and family members that a bypass yields good results but it must be a worry at the moment.
Wishing you both well.
Anne.

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maz
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by maz » Wed Jan 22, 2020 9:31 am

Thank you Helen and Anne. It is a strange time, a kind of limbo land. Yes Anne, it seems to be a successful operation overall. I read that some are done without the heart lung machine these days, and they are even beginning to do them laparoscopically, though that is far form the norm.
Marilyn

paul..m
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by paul..m » Sat Jan 25, 2020 8:15 am

Fingers crossed hope all goes well
Paul

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maz
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by maz » Sat Jan 25, 2020 9:07 am

Thanks Paul. First trip(for John) in ambulance to hospital at 5am yesterday :( . Chest pressure that didn't go away with the nitrate spray. All tests were fine and pressure more or less subsided so 'just' angina and could go home. Of course John isn't confident yet with it all and has been nervous which is understandable. They did agree that he should do the same another time if the pain didn't go with 2 sprays, as you never know if it could be worse. But he now feels quite a bit more confident as he now knows more than he did. As I said before, his consultant, though excellent, doesn't chat much, so no real information given apart from 'don't do anything that brings the pain on' :roll: .
Marilyn

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Janey Dal
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by Janey Dal » Sat Jan 25, 2020 11:17 am

Oh Marilyn! I'm so sorry to hear of your worries :( .

I know when it was agreed that Alan could have surgery for his panc we were suddenly terrified even though it was what we wanted. It's just a horrible time and like you say, you are in limbo until you get a date.

The worst bit for you two is that it was so unexpected. You both must be so frightened.

Just so you know I will be thinking about you both. They do marvellous things these days with heart surgery and I have no doubt that everything will turn out fine, it's the wait that is the worst bit.

Everything crossed for you both and if positive thoughts help then you have all of mine.

Hugs (and love to John)

Jane xx

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maz
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by maz » Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:07 am

Thanks Jane. Yes, a very sudden change, but things are beginning to settle down now as John adjusts. Friday morning's trip to A&E helped quite a bit. We do hear of so many successful bypass operations so that is a huge plus. Just the waiting game and knowing I need to stop nagging him about not doing things etc. My anxiety has been getting worse over the last few years anyway, so I need to find a way to chill.
Marilyn

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Janey Dal
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by Janey Dal » Sun Jan 26, 2020 10:14 am

Easier said than done!

I remember Alan saying to me after his operation "If you ask me one more time if I'm feeling okay, I won't be responsible for my actions!" :lol: :lol:

Hugs

Jane xx

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MikeyB
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by MikeyB » Mon Jan 27, 2020 12:04 am

The trouble with men, by and large, and I include myself, is that admission of some degree of inability to hunt and gather is a sign of failure. That’s been largely knocked out of me lately, as I become more dependent on devices and adaptations to even get around the house. And get showered and dressed. I may yet need outside help, but not for a while yet, but it might happen. It’s just a question of learning whether you should, and should not, attempt certain activities. For sure, Occupational Therapists are far more concerned about me than I am.

So, Marilyn, it might be a struggle, but a routine cardiac bypass should knock some sense into John. And, unlike me, he will get back to normal. I’m not bothered, mind, it’s just entropy. You can’t fight it, it’s the second law of thermodynamics. :D

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maz
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by maz » Mon Jan 27, 2020 11:43 am

Mike you are so right about men, well the older men anyway. Always told they have to be the strong one, do the heavy things, bring in the money etc. Though I have been doing more anyway prior to this, since my pancreatitis attack and subsequent chronic pain, and then his semi retirement, he has taken on more of the things I did but was struggling with, and of course still feels he should do. He doesn't like to see me doing the harder stuff around the house.(shhh...I don't like having to do it either :wink: :lol: :lol: but it will do me good :shock: ).

I also think it is hard for most of us as we grow older to have to depend on others for areas of our care, or even how we get around. The longer you can do things for yourself is normally the best, but you mustn't put yourself in danger of falling etc. in the process.
Marilyn

paul 28
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by paul 28 » Thu Jan 30, 2020 6:39 am

How is John getting on .
Its not just men my mum who is 94 likes to have bedroom changed around summer/winter but will she wait till I or my wife get there .No I turn up and its can you unplug telephone and move it ,the bed 2 chests of draws and bedside cabinets she has already done and she thinks nothing of getting steps out and taking down curtains to wash .

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maz
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by maz » Thu Jan 30, 2020 9:16 am

He is doing okay thanks Paul. Just waiting for these 2 tests. He is becoming a bit more confident about what he can do and not. it is me who is on edge, but I am trying not to nag.

Your mum sounds to be doing really well for her age! Moving beds and other furniture around and taking curtains down :shock: I am sure you give her a bit of a telling off, but she sounds a stubborn one. But it has kept her going till this great age. One thing is they can break bones so easily. John's mum was about that age when she just slid off the side of her bed to the floor(she was sitting on the edge in the night) and broke her femur. Not the neck, but the shaft just above her knee. She had a full leg pot on for months. The nurses, physio and care assistants tried hard, but she never got back to walking and was in a chair and was extremely frustrated afterwards. But all you can do it tell your mum - she will do what she wants :roll:
Marilyn

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Janey Dal
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Re: Not me this time.

Post by Janey Dal » Sat Feb 01, 2020 12:23 pm

My mum is much the same at 89 (90 in April). I try to not interfere because I absolutely agree with you Marilyn, the more determined and independent you are the longer you are likely to have a good quality of life. Aging and being increasingly dependant on others is awful!

We had a family friend who was the most determined lady you could possibly meet. Endless energy and always busy. She got a bad dose of the flu and her daughter took her home to recuperate and basically killed her with kindness. She did everything for her and Vera basically turned into an old lady overnight and died a couple years later. It was a terrible thing to do to her, albeit with the best intentions.

I know Alan is frustrated with his status. I have told him ad nauseum that him doing the housework and the cooking allows me to devote the time to my job which is so necessary. I can go into work and literally focus solely on the job without that nagging "oh what are we having for tea and have I got all the ingredients?" that dogged my life when the kids were little.

And then getting up Saturday morning after a week at work and having to do all the chores is a thing of the past for me. It is a God send for me, but Alan still struggles with the concept.

I am pleased John is feeling a bit more confident Marilyn. Sadly your confidence has been knocked and it will take a little time to get it back.

Everything crossed for you both. You'll get through this as you have all the other difficulties you've faced together.

Hugs

Jane xx

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