Alan's blog........

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sat Aug 14, 2021 5:21 pm

Jane wonders if Paul makes the kurosu himself or gets a take away? :shock: :shock:

Jane has had a new and very interesting experience today :D . Jane attended soft play with George for his birthday party :D . This was great fun and George loved it. Jane has sadly come away with a friction burn on her bottom :shock: :shock: . Alan was happy to believe that this was as a result of Jane going down a VERY big slide with her shorts on :shock: . That actually was the case but Jane has to admit that the slide did say that the age range was 4- 14 and Jane is possibly slightly outside of this :shock: :shock: . So Jane can't even write a strongly worded letter to the company about her bottom because she should not have been on the slide in the first place :oops: :oops: .

Meanwhile there has been a dreadful local incident :shock: . The main TV mast for the area was struck by lightning and about 50,000 local homes are without TV :shock: :shock: . This happened 4 days ago and is a disaster of unprecedented proportions :shock: :shock: . Of course people with Netflix and Sky and Smart-TVs can get channels okay but the terrestrial channels including Freeview are OFF :shock: :shock: .

This has affected the Dalgeishes somewhat but Jane considers this to be a first world problem and something to be endured with some stoicism :? . This is very brave of Jane because Judge Judy has been affected :shock: :shock: :shock: (not personally obviously because she is slightly outside the transmitter area).

Mad Ma rang Jane on Wednesday and asked if Jane's TV was working. Jane advised that it wasn't and explained about the transmitter. Mad Ma was most discombobulated. Mad Ma then rang Jane again 30 minutes later and they had the same conversation :lol: :lol: .

On Thursday mad Ma rang Jane again, apologised for being a nuisance and asked if Jane could pop over and fix her TV. Jane explained about the transmitter for the third time. Then Jane's Number One Digger son texted Jane to say mad Ma had been on the phone to say her TV wasn't working. Jane explained the situation to him because they hadn't been affected and didn't know.

On Friday Jane walked in the door from work and mad Ma was on the phone to Alan (whose blog this is) to tell him - yes Jane's reader has guessed it - that her TV wasn't working :lol: :lol: .

Meanwhile Jane rang mad Ma's best friend to have a conversation about how to motivate mad a a bit because she has lost her mojo (it is probably down the back of the settee). Mad Ma's friend advised that mad Ma had been on the phone to her 3 times in 3 days to say that - Jane's feels sure that her reader knows what's coming next - her bloody TV wasn't working :lol: :lol:

Jane did suggest to Alan this morning that he rang mad Ma to tell her her TV wasn't working to save her the bother of ringing :lol: :lol: .

Jane does appreciate that for the coffin dodgers this is a sad situation but Jane cannot fix this. Believe Jane, she would do so if it were within her power if only to stop mad Ma ringing :lol: :lol:.

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maz
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by maz » Sun Aug 15, 2021 9:30 am

Well you NEED to know who owes you money, that is good :D I guess the big problem is when you confront someone you think owes you some and they did actually pay :? .
Marilyn

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Mon Aug 16, 2021 2:03 pm

:lol: :lol: That would be awkward! :roll: :roll:

So it appears that Jane not only picked up a friction burn on her bottom on Saturday but a nasty stomach bug which left her feeling rough as a dog and making the toilet her best friend :roll: :roll: . Jane wouldn't mind, she sanitised her hands after leaving the softplay area so it was obviously caught from some dirty Stockton family who were spreading germs with alacrity via other means :evil: . Jane knows it is a bug because Alan (whose blog this is) has it as well and he never even went to softplay.

Of course Alan has it worse than Jane :roll: :roll: . So Jane has had a gash day off work which would have been nice if she hadn't spent the best part of it asleep in bed and then having to wash the bedcovers AGAIN due to being a sweaty mare :roll: :roll: . Jane is however starting to feel slightly better. Of course Alan will suffer for another week and a half :lol: :lol: .

And then as if life couldn't get any more frustrating - mad Ma rang on Sunday to say her TV wasn't working :shock: . Jane has run out of words :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: . Jane had even organised a Social Prescriber to contact mad Ma on Friday. These are employed by the GP practices to help people who have social issues. They can get them enrolled in local social clubs, help sort out their benefits, organise food deliveries and charities who can help. Jane knows that Stevie had rung mad Ma on Friday because Stevie told her.

Jane therefore rang mad Ma on Friday to ask how the telephone call with Stevie went. "Phoebe?" asked mad Ma. "No Stevie, a female Stevie." said Jane. Some pause in the conversation whilst mad Ma gathered her thoughts:

"Oh STEVIE!" said mad Ma having suddenly remembered. "YES!" said Jane with some enthusiasm "What did you agree with her?"

"I can't remember" said ma Mad :roll: :roll: :roll:

paul...m
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by paul...m » Tue Aug 17, 2021 6:40 am

Every payment is recorded which can be viewed on mobile so the soon realise error of their ways either that or a swift knee capping resolves issue .
Hope you are feeling better Jane and washed your hands don't want any nasty bugs crawling about the internet .Just one question you didnt mention you were with any child at soft play area its usually dirty old men that do that sort of thing

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maz
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by maz » Tue Aug 17, 2021 9:14 am

Marilyn hopes Jane is feeling much better today. Soft play areas are yucky. Fortunately Covid has meant they are cleaned much more often, but Marilyn has memories of one smelling of old wee. :evil: :evil:
Marilyn

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sat Aug 21, 2021 12:05 pm

Old wee? :lol: Jane feels slightly nauseous :lol: :lol:

Jane didn’t realise you had to have a child with you at soft play :shock: . There were no signs up to say so :shock:.

Having recovered from her close affiliation with the toilet Jane returned to work on Tuesday to be advised by all the staff with small children “Oh yes, you always pick up bugs at softplay” :shock: . Jane thinks it’s a pity nobody told her before. And also apparently it is not a surprise that Jane got a friction burn on her bum. Apparently you don’t wear shorts at soft play :shock: .

Why was Jane so ill-informed? :shock:

Anyway this week has been a plethora of issues with mad Ma who is driving Jane to distraction. Having nagged mad Ma into making a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday and spending an hour on the phone with her to tell her exactly what to say, mad Ma fell asleep and missed the appointment :evil: :evil: . Jane then made another appointment for mad Ma and went with her.

Just as well because mad Ma was a poor historian and kept insisting she was okay :roll: . Mad Ma now has stronger pain meds and an appointment for an x-ray.

Mad Ma insisted that she doesn’t like to make a fuss to which Jane advised she had Jane, Jane’s number one Digger son, number one VERY intelligent daughter and mad Ma’s friend all running round after her because she ‘doesn’t like to make a fuss’ :shock:

Mad Ma has promised to do better and stop being such a baby :roll: . Jane will believe it when she sees it :roll:.

If the situation continues Jane may well dust off her Uzi and go on a rampage. After all Jane has Alan (whose blog this is) being grumpy old git and mad Ma being a pain in Jane’s doodah. Something has to give :lol: :lol: .

paul...m
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by paul...m » Sat Aug 21, 2021 1:19 pm

Simple answer go back to soft play and shut yourself away in loo for a week

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sat Aug 28, 2021 12:06 pm

Jane thinks this is a great idea :D .

Jane has been today to get her nails done and is delighted to say that she has a different colour nail varnish on every nail :D :D . Alan (whose blog this is) was not impressed so Jane knows they must be good because Alan is not a fashion guru by any stretch of the imagination.

She has now sent Alan off shopping for food. On a Saturday! Alan could go any day of the week because Jane doesn't need Betty at work, she just sits in all her orange and black glory in the car park with the doctors' BMWs and 4x4s, looking small and bright and sad (This refers to Betty obvs, not Jane who does not sit in the car park all day, nor is she small and bright :shock: ). Jane thinks the other cars in the car park don't speak to Betty because they will think she is too small to acknowledge :roll: :roll:, so Jane thinks Betty would be better being used by Alan during the week, rather than sit in splendid isolation in the car park :? .

But no! Alan always goes shopping on a Saturday and then complains that the supermarket is busy :roll: :roll: . Jane can't be bothered to comment any more, it takes too much effort and Alan doesn't listen to her :roll: . Jane thinks this is a regular thing with Alan who seems to not listen to Jane on a regular basis :shock: .

Jane thinks this is very rude particularly as EVERYTHING Jane has to say is VERY interesting :shock: .

And Jane is very excited to have a bank holiday weekend in order to spend more time being ignored by Alan and having the same conversation with mad Ma over and over and over again. However if Jane doesn't tell mad Ma that it is a bank holiday, ma Ma may forget and won't expect Jane to be available on Monday. Jane would like to bet however, that regardless of how many things mad Ma forgets, she won't forget that Jane is available to torture on Monday :roll: :roll: .

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sat Sep 04, 2021 12:56 pm

Jane is having a bad time of it at the moment :( . Mad Ma is taking up massive hours of both Jane and D-I-Ls time mainly over medication which mad Ma can never remember at the moment what she's taken, what she hasn't taken and what she is supposed to take. Jane's lovely D-I-L has made a paper table for mad Ma to actually physically put her tablets on and with times to take them and a tablet sellotaped to the table so she knows what they look like.

This still isn't enough and mad Ma is getting a reputation at her local pharmacy for phoning them up and telling them off for not delivering her tablets :lol: :lol: . Jane has had to go an apologise to them and advise them not to take any notice of mad Ma.

This manic behaviour has come on suddenly so Jane and D-I-L think it's either dehydration or something else so mad Ma is having blood tests left right and centre and has been referred to the memory clinic. If she remembers to attend :lol: :lol: . Jane and D-I-L are having the same conversations with mad Ma on a daily basis so have set up a Whatsapp group for Jane, D-I-L and Jane's VERY intelligent daughter so they can compare notes. This is to ensure 2 things 1) we all know what is ACTUALLY happening rather than mad Ma's perception; and 2) to ensure we don't end up as confused as mad Ma :lol: :lol: .

Meanwhile Jane is worried about VERY intelligent daughter who is 8 months pregnant, is too frightened to have the COVID jab due to conflicting advice. She has antibodies because she has had COVID before and is avoiding all contact. Well obviously not ALL contact as she is pregnant. Even Jane knows there must have been some contact for her to achieved her gravid state :shock: .

Alan (whose blog this is) is feeling a lot better than he has for many years and the Dalgleishes went out for a meal last night like a normal couple :D :D.

Jane just thinks life at times is bloody tough with ups and downs and side to sides.

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maz
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by maz » Sun Sep 05, 2021 9:12 am

Marilyn is so happy to hear a little normality has returned in Jane and Alan's lives. When is the last time Jane and Alan have gone out for a nice meal together? Marilyn smiled to hear that. But Marilyn is really sorry to hear how Jane's mad ma is behaving at the moment. It is great Jane also has her DIL and intelligent daughter to help. Marilyn thinks the scare stories put out by some very unhelpful countries, media, and social media have done great harm and no doubt caused deaths. Thankfully Jane's daughter will soon have her baby, and I am sure she will then have the vaccination. Double whammy of relief for Jane I am sure.
Marilyn

paul...m
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by paul...m » Sat Sep 11, 2021 8:05 am

Well should be dragging shed on wheels op norf soon but didn't realise how close to tees side we will be not sure wether to cancel as will almost be within reach of Jane . Nice to hear about going out for a meal was it posh sit down McDonalds or take away box .

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sat Sep 11, 2021 12:10 pm

Jane and Alan went posh and had steaks and everything AND a pudding (Jane thinks it was called a sweet though) :D :D . And Jane would love to know where Paul is parking his shed. She could possibly pop and meet him :D . Jane bets the shed has lovely clean windows :D .

However today Jane is in a dilemma.

Jane asked Alan (whose blog this is) if he wanted a cup of tea. Alan shook his head and said No. Alan is totally unable to say no without looking sad, as if the decision to not have a cup of tea causes him pain. This habit irritated Jane today so she told him off for looking sad. Alan retaliated by telling Jane to stop criticising him :shock: .

Jane's dilemma? What on earth is she going to say to Alan now? :shock: If she's not criticising him she has nothing to say to him :shock: :lol: :lol:.

So this week mad Ma is causing further uproar. Jane rang her last week and asked her if she'd been out. "Oh yes!" sad mad Ma proudly "I went to the Fairfield Pharmacy on my scooter to get my prescribed eyedrops but they wouldn't give them to me."

"That's probably because you are registered at Sainsbury's pharmacy" said Jane with some weariness. :lol: :lol: Mad Ma is getting a reputation with the local pharmacies Jane fears. Jane is somewhat reminded of Madge from the TV series Benidorm :lol: :lol: .

She then rang Jane and said she couldn't find one of her tablets. "You've probably taken it already" advised Jane. "But I can't find it!" Mad Ma protested. "Well you won't be able to find it if you've taken it will you? Look in your stomach!" Advised Jane. :shock: :roll: :lol: :lol:

And Jane wants to know where the summer went? It is definitely back-endish now and Jane is not ready for it :( . Jane still wants to wear shorts and T-shirts and sit in the sun. Jane wants to know how the sun knows that it is September and it therefore doesn't need to make as much effort as previously :( . Jane would like it to continue to make more effort for a little while longer but apparently that's not happening :roll: :roll: .

And Jane understands that Boris Johnson has had a haircut :shock: . Jane will be avoiding the TV for a while until it has grown a bit. At least his ridiculous barnet covered most of his completely unprepossessing face :lol: :lol: .

paul...m
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by paul...m » Sat Sep 11, 2021 7:43 pm

Shed on wheels trundling off to Cayton Village but if its raining oop norf Jane is welcome to visit in her shorts and wet Tee shirt so long as you don't drip over the carpet .
Why not get your lovely mother thirty one of those boxes that have compartments for pills and wrap each one and label them up with days of the week then she will think its an advent calendar .

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maz
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by maz » Mon Sep 13, 2021 9:04 am

Would Mad Ma(and Jane) benefit from one of those pre packed prescription thingies old folk can get via the pharmacy so she just takes what is in the appropriate dated pocket? Marilyn thinks they have a proper name, but she is too old to remember it! Marilyn herself would not like them as she wouldn't trust them these days with the same medication looking different every prescription filling! There was a day when the same kinds of tablets had to look the same, now they change appearance each box. One of Marilyn's pet peeves, so trusting what is in the prescription thingy is correct would be difficult.

Marilyn agrees with Jane that it is definitely back endish now. Marilyn had had difficulty dealing with the heat this year so is rather pleased to be honest. She likes Autumn. She likes clock change weekend. She likes the darker evenings. Being contrary, she also likes when the lighter evenings come around too! Whilst she is not fond of change in general, she loves these changes. Strange.

Jane is going to have to find a way to make a criticism appear like praise. Happy Alan and happy Jane.

Marilyn hopes Paul has a good holiday in his mobile shed and that the rain keeps away. Marilyn still misses theirs.
Marilyn

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Janey Dal
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Re: Alan's blog........

Post by Janey Dal » Sat Sep 18, 2021 11:55 am

paul...m wrote:
Sat Sep 11, 2021 7:43 pm
Shed on wheels trundling off to Cayton Village but if its raining oop norf Jane is welcome to visit in her shorts and wet Tee shirt so long as you don't drip over the carpet .
Why not get your lovely mother thirty one of those boxes that have compartments for pills and wrap each one and label them up with days of the week then she will think its an advent calendar .
Paul's shed has a carpet :shock: . Posh! :D :D

Indeed Jane thanks Paul and Marilyn for their helpful comments. Sadly mad Ma has a medipack (that's the word that was escaping you Marilyn) but she still gets confused because she can't remember what day it is and therefore whether she's taken her tablets :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: . Jane's lovely D-I-L has even taken a tablet from each group and sellotaped them to a sheet of paper with instructions on. But as Marilyn says they keep changing the shape of the tablets causing even more confusion :roll: :roll: .

Jane has advised ma Mad that she has low mood and that she will probably need some mild anti-depressants to help her.

"Ooh! Are they to slow me down? asked mad Ma :roll: :roll: . Jane uttered a mild expletive and advised that if she slowed down any more she would stop altogether :lol: :lol: .

Meanwhile Alan (whose blog this is) was very excited this morning because his favourite Aldi has reopened having been completely rebuilt :roll: :roll: . Alan was just fit to be tied :lol: :lol: . He has returned from shopping having apparently prepared for a siege and probably put the rest of Stockton on rations for at least a fortnight :roll: :roll: . Alan was then complaining that he couldn't fit everything in the fridge. Jane was very good and did not say "well you bloody bought it all, you great twonk!" Jane did however think this :oops: :oops: .

And Jane put in a sneaky day's annual leave on Monday for a bit of a break. Imagine how delighted Jane was then when mad Ma's GP rang Jane to say mad Ma needed a chest x-ray asap. Guess where Jane is going on her day off then? :roll: :roll:

And in a final bit of news - Jane dropped her mobile phone last night from about 3 inches from the floor onto ceramic tiles. Despite the minor impact Jane's mobile has a cracked screen and has gone rogue :lol: :lol: :lol: . Jane was watching it this morning whilst it rang random people from Jane's address book and then wouldn't let Jane cancel the call :lol: :lol: . Then sent a complete gobbledegook message to number one Digger son :lol: :lol: . Jane is keeping an eye on it to ensure it doesn't have another fit and fire off further messages and ring strange people . :lol: :lol: :lol:

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