Yesterday Jane took mad Ma to the doctors. Mad Ma has not been herself since a virus some weeks ago. Jane has no idea who she has been and to be fair she looks just the same as mad Ma however she is even more mad than normal and potters off on mental journeys that bear no resemblance to anything that has just been said
The poor GP was very patient with mad Ma under the circumstances. Jane had to keep bringing mad Ma back to answer the questions that the GP was asking:
GP “How is your sleeping?”
MM “Well, it’s funny you should ask that” (why this is funny Jane has no idea anyway.... “I sleep very well but I sometimes wake up and I feel as if I can’t get my breath but I think I am probably just panicking in case I can’t get my breath when really I can breath very well. I never fall asleep during the day though.”
Jane: “You were asleep when I came to get you today” pointed out Jane.
MM “Yes but that’s only since I had the virus”
Jane: “That is what we are trying to establish Mum - whether you are worse since the virus”
MM “Well I was talking to my daughter in law last week and she’d just come back from a meeting at work.......”
Jane: “Mum - the doctor wants to know if you sleep well”
MM “Oh yes like a log!”
“Mind I’m having trouble with my legs, they are all swollen”. Mad Ma rolls her trousers up and shows the GP her legs. The GP having never seen mad Ma’s legs before has nothing to compare them to so has to be advised by Jane that they are swollen.
MM: “That’s because I’m not on furosemide anymore”
GP: “Have you stopped taking your furosemide then?”
MM: “Do you know how long I’ve been at this practice?” Mad Ma asks the poor long suffering GP “Since Dr Nee was here!”
Jane had to point out that it was Dr Neish, not Nee. The GP was far too young to remember him and he probably died before she was born and that it was a different GP practice altogether
It was finally established that mad Ma is suffering from post-viral fatigue and is gradually getting better and just needs to keep on buggering on.
Jane thinks the poor GP spent the rest of the day reconsidering her future in primary care
Jane does have to admit to a difficult moment however. The GP was asking mad Ma memory test questions to establish if mad Ma had dementia and she asked mad Ma the date.
Sharp as a tack mad Ma answered “2nd August”. Jane was glad they hadn't asked her. Jane would have answered “About 27th July”